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Lil' Red in Concussion Protocol after Jumping on Head


Lincoln, NE - The Nebraska football team will be without it's beloved inflatable toddler as it opens fall camp next week. The (Faux)maha World-Herald has confirmed Lil' Red has entered concussion protocol after multiple incidents of bouncing on his own head with absolutely no protection or safety equipment.

It's been a rough offseason for Lil' Red, who has just finished recovering from multiple stab wounds received from a sect of deranged fans who believe that "sacrificing" the mascot would "break the curse" on Nebraska football.

Lil' Red is entering his 20th season of eligibility for the Huskers and was expected to contribute as the 2nd man in the mascot tandem-bike routine. 

"It'll just be the next man up," Frost told reporters on Wednesday. Corn Cob Man is expected to go into fall camp as the starter. He hasn't seen game action for a few decades, but he's been "hungry" for his shot, he told reporters.


"Sorry, that joke was a bit...corny," he stated before also suffering a sudden concussion from an undisclosed member of the media. Cokehead Blonde Herbie from the 80s is now expected to be the starter in Fall Camp.






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