Skip to main content

How the West is Won

I'm getting sick to my stomach waiting for this game tonight. My guts are tied in a knot and I gotta tell ya.

It feels great.

It feels like it's been a long time since I've felt this way about a game. The last time was probably 2 years ago when Nebraska was 8-1, ranked 16th in the College Football Playoff Poll and was heading into a Big Ten West showdown with Wisconsin in Camp Randall.

That's the last time Nebraska truly played in a big game and we all remember how that turned out. Sure, we beat #7 Michigan State last year, but it was a pretty meaningless game. There wasn't anything on the line.

Tonight there is everything on the line. The Big Ten West and an outside shot at the College Football Playoff are still a possibility. And the winner of this game will take control of the Big Ten West.

Going into this season I knew Wisconsin would be our biggest threat to the West, because I knew Iowa would pull an Iowa. (Don't worry Iowa fans. Only 30 more years until you can fire Kirk Ferentz).

Ever since conference play began, I've been cheering for Wisconsin to lose, which has drawn some ire from some friends and family.

"Nebraska shouldn't need Wisconsin to lose to win the West," they say. "Nebraska should just be able to go out and take it."

To that I say, have you even seen Nebraska play at any time in the last 15 years? When in that time has Nebraska ever been able to go out and take anything?

These Nebraska fans seem to think winning the West is simply Manifest Destiny. That it's our God-given right. US History tells us that winning the "West" isn't quite that simple. It's dirty, ugly and you have to shamelessly murder millions of indigenous people to do it.

Thankfully, Nebraska doesn't have to do that. It just has to beat Wisconsin or hope and pray that Wisconsin stumbles later in the season.

I'd pay to see this movie.

Of course I hope tonight is the night where Nebraska goes out and, instead of falling flat on their face per usual, actually pulls off the big win. But I am painfully aware that with Nebraska, you just can't count on that.

Nebraska needs to win the west so they can go to Indianapolis and take their shot. Winning the West doesn't have to be pretty. In fact it can be flat out ugly.

Let's say Nebraska loses tonight and loses to Ohio State, but still manages to win the West. Then let's say they go to Indy and pull off the upset. 10 years from now are you really going to care that Nebraska didn't outright dominate the West?

No, you're going to wear that 2016 Big Ten Champions shirt until your wife throws it away because she can't stand the sight of all those nacho cheese stains.

Of course I hope Nebraska wins tonight and wins the West in style. I've just seen too much disappointing football to know that Nebraska may not get it done tonight. Winning the West usually isn't pretty. Get used to it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

BREAKTHROUGH: After Decades of 'N is for Knowledge,' World's Scientists Announce Creation of 2nd Nebraska Joke

After over four decades of milking the exact same joke about Nebraska football, the world's top scientists in every major field of research have come together to announce the creation of a 2nd joke. The original joke simply proclaims the 'N' on the side of Nebraska's football helmet stands for 'Knowledge.' They announced this breakthrough was the culmination of 10 years of collaborative research and over $250 billion spent. "Normally we'd spend that kind of time and resources on medical advances, technological breakthroughs, more efficient methods of engineering and manufacturing, but this joke had just gotten so stale. We eventually came to the conclusion that the best possible service we could do for society was to help them out of this rut," world-renowned quantum theorist Alain Aspect said. "I mean, come on! The joke doesn't even make sense. By the very structure of the joke, the joke teller is the one insisting the N stands for knowle...

To Break Nebraska Football Curse, Frank Solich to Sacrifice 'Lil Red at Halftime of Fordham Game

Lincoln, NE - After finding yet another Rock Bottom last week at Illinois, Nebraska football finds itself growing increasingly desperate to break the almost 2 decade curse that has befallen the program. The University of Nebraska-Lincoln announced this week that former Nebraska head coach Frank Solich would be returning to Memorial Stadium to perform a blood sacrifice of 'Lil Red while dressed as the original fan favorite "Blonde Herbie" during halftime of the Fordham game.  "We thank 'Lil Red and the unfortunate student scheduled to play him this Saturday for their long service to this university," said new UNL Athletic Director Trev Alberts in a statement released on Friday. "But these are desperate times and 'Lil Red was always kind of stupid anyway." The source of the curse remains unknown, but its existence has long centered around 3 popular fan theories: 1. The introduction of 'Lil Red as a mascot 2. The retirement of "Blonde Her...

$5.8M in Brick Wall Related Damages Reported in Nebraska after Scott Frost Releases Hype Video

Lincoln, NE - The state of Nebraska is reeling Friday morning from devastation and destruction caused by a hype video released Thursday afternoon by Nebraska football head coach Scott Frost on Twitter, sending thousands of fans across the state sprinting straight through the nearest brick wall, severely threatening the structural integrity of countless buildings. pic.twitter.com/2BR8slArsW — Scott Frost (@coach_frost) June 20, 2019 "WHO YOU ARE SOME OF THE TIME IS WHO YOU ARE ALL OF THE TIME," screamed Hastings resident Derick Bachmeier as he plowed through the exterior wall of the local Russ' Market and straight into the produce section. Even residents as far as the Sand Hills found themselves caught up in the hype as Randy Grove, 64, drove over 45 minutes to find a brick wall to his liking with the specific intention of sprinting straight through it. "I mean sure there were some cavity brick walls nearby, as well as dry wall, wood paneling and all ...