The B1G Conspiracy to Grant Northwestern Home Field Advantage (Please give me clicks. I'm desperate)

Northwestern is the only Big Ten team to gain an advantage by playing without fans. It's a B1G conspiracy I tells ya! 

If the Pat Forde's, Dan Wolken's, and Nicole Auerbach's can crank out dangerous, desperate, and unhinged click-bait conspiracy, SO CAN I! For every action there is an opposite and equal reaction. It's a law of the universe or something and as a sports journalist I like to reference laws, theories, and principles I hardly understand.

Yes, so back to the barely coherent point at hand. Northwestern. By not allowing fans, the Big Ten is showing blatant favoritism for its hometown team, the church "choir boys" of the conference.

It's a well-known fact that Northwestern never plays in front of a home crowd. They either play in front of a hostile road crowd or a smaller hostile road crowd in their own stadium. Whenever Nebraska, and many other Big Ten teams, play at Northwestern, the home team has to go to a silent count. 

It's very clear Mrs. Karen Warren rewards those who toe the party line and no one toes it better than the MildCats (*snicker, snicker. My God, I am clever). There's nothing "wild" about the cats who never step out of line, never speak unless spoken to, and always ask daddy's permission before doing anything.

Of course, Northwestern once went rogue and tried to unionize without kneeling before the throne to request permission. But they get away with it, because they're the smarty pants "intellectuals" of the conference, a title they get to keep despite producing alumni like Michael Wilbon. 

And what's worse is that Karen Warren got one last laugh in by denying Nebraska fans the opportunity to descend upon the Windy City in droves. Or perhaps he was worried about the scores of Nebraskans that would show up at his office to politely offer him a Runza, the beloved delicacy that out-of-staters seem to take extreme offense to.

Whatever the reason, this conspiracy has just as much evidence behind it as actual sports jounralist Pat Forde's theory that Nebraska furloughed employees and Iowa cut sports just to "shift blame" to the Big Ten, so you know it's true.