Chicago, IL - In response to questions about when the schedule would drop for the upcoming Big Ten baseball season, commissioner Kevin Warren assured reporters that a schedule would be arriving soon in March 2023.
"This conference is dedicated to efficiency, transparency, and doing right by our student athletes." Kevin Warren said via his Zoom press conference before being interrupted by the off-screen laughter of his staff.
"I'm proud of the effort this conference has made in allowing our non-revenue generating student athletes a chance to even compete at all." Warren continued, adding that they should be groveling at his feet and thanking him for getting anything at all.
Reporters from the Athletic were quick to agree with Warren. "It's ridiculous to even think conducting a season would even be on a sports conference's top 10 list of priorities," Nicole Auerbach, covering college baseball for some reason, tweeted in a thread shortly after the conference. "Let's be clear, this whole effort to play a season on-time has been about one team, and one team only (Michigan), getting a chance to compete for a CWS title."
Near the end of the press conference, Warren's background glitched, revealing he was doing the conference from a Polynesian island in the Pacific.
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