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Kevin Warren is Not a Tyrant. Now Stop Saying That Before He Punishes Us More

OPINION - There's a lot of talk going around Husker Nation lately that Kevin Warren is a tyrant who cancelled football season last year, covered up the conference vote, and attempted to skirt FOIA laws, but that's clearly just a crackpot conspiracy theory. Please knock if off before he decides us to punish us even more than he already has. I mean did you see that stat last year about Nebraska not getting holding calls? The man was clearly punishing us for raising such a ruckus last fall.

So why would we want to make that mistake again with all this "tyrant" talk? Do you even realize how powerful that man is and what he could possibly do to us? Maybe he'll even banish us from the Big Ten! Now of course that's not how it works according to the Big Ten by-laws, but we all saw him openly breaking those by-laws last year, particularly when it came to that conference vote that may or may not have happened. No doubt he has the unchecked power to banish us on a whim if he so pleases. 

Is that the sort of person you want to go around calling a tyrant?

No, Kevin Warren is clearly our unquestioned glorious leader and we should honor him as such. I mean look at his own personal shrine to himself! Look at all those personal achievements! I don't know if you paid attention in history class, but when's the last time you heard of a tyrant with a vanity problem? 

Exactly. It's practically unheard of.

Kevin Warren is clearly a great man and we should all just stop making trouble for the poor guy.

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