Playing for Bits and Pieces

This last week I spent more time thinking about politics than I did football. It was horrible.

Minnesota has been a tough game to get excited for. Nebraska's chances to win the West plummeted last week, and frankly, they don't deserve to win the West. Not after last week.

I guess that's why trophy games exist. It's something dumb and quirky to play for once championships are out the window. Today Nebraska and Minnesota are playing for one of the best new rivalry trophies in college football, the $5 Bits of Broken Chair Trophy.

The $5 Bits of Broken Chair Trophy is one of the last legacies left behind by Faux Pelini. I love this trophy because it's so obnoxious. Unlike the corporate sponsored Heroes Trophy and Freedom Trophy, you know this trophy has a story behind it. That way in 20 years when your kids or grandkids are wondering why Nebraska's playing for a broken golden chair, you can tell them "Well, there was once this thing called Twitter."

It makes for a better story than "Well there was once this thing called Hy-Vee."

And then of course there's the Freedom Trophy, which is probably treasonous to dislike so I won't say anything more about that.

It's fitting this game is coming off the heels of the 2nd worst loss in program history, That's all Nebraska is playing for at this point. Bits and pieces and a very very very outside shot at the West.

Sorry I don't have many jokes today. I figured the game last week was a big enough joke to tie us over for a while. I've just seen this show so many times before. Nebraska gets on the brink of getting over the hump and then collapses in truly mind boggling fashion.

Comments

To Break Nebraska Football Curse, Frank Solich to Sacrifice 'Lil Red at Halftime of Fordham Game

Lincoln, NE - After finding yet another Rock Bottom last week at Illinois, Nebraska football finds itself growing increasingly desperate to break the almost 2 decade curse that has befallen the program. The University of Nebraska-Lincoln announced this week that former Nebraska head coach Frank Solich would be returning to Memorial Stadium to perform a blood sacrifice of 'Lil Red while dressed as the original fan favorite "Blonde Herbie" during halftime of the Fordham game. "We thank 'Lil Red and the unfortunate student scheduled to play him this Saturday for their long service to this university," said new UNL Athletic Director Trev Alberts in a statement released on Friday. "But these are desperate times and 'Lil Red was always kind of stupid anyway." The source of the curse remains unknown, but its existence has long centered around 3 popular fan theories: 1. The introduction of 'Lil Red as a mascot 2. The retirement of "Blonde Her

BREAKTHROUGH: After Decades of 'N is for Knowledge,' World's Scientists Announce Creation of 2nd Nebraska Joke

After over four decades of milking the exact same joke about Nebraska football, the world's top scientists in every major field of research have come together to announce the creation of a 2nd joke. The original joke simply proclaims the 'N' on the side of Nebraska's football helmet stands for 'Knowledge.' They announced this breakthrough was the culmination of 10 years of collaborative research and over $250 billion spent. "Normally we'd spend that kind of time and resources on medical advances, technological breakthroughs, more efficient methods of engineering and manufacturing, but this joke had just gotten so stale. We eventually came to the conclusion that the best possible service we could do for society was to help them out of this rut," world-renowned quantum theorist Alain Aspect said. "I mean, come on! The joke doesn't even make sense. By the very structure of the joke, the joke teller is the one insisting the N stands for knowle

$5.8M in Brick Wall Related Damages Reported in Nebraska after Scott Frost Releases Hype Video

Lincoln, NE - The state of Nebraska is reeling Friday morning from devastation and destruction caused by a hype video released Thursday afternoon by Nebraska football head coach Scott Frost on Twitter, sending thousands of fans across the state sprinting straight through the nearest brick wall, severely threatening the structural integrity of countless buildings. pic.twitter.com/2BR8slArsW — Scott Frost (@coach_frost) June 20, 2019 "WHO YOU ARE SOME OF THE TIME IS WHO YOU ARE ALL OF THE TIME," screamed Hastings resident Derick Bachmeier as he plowed through the exterior wall of the local Russ' Market and straight into the produce section. Even residents as far as the Sand Hills found themselves caught up in the hype as Randy Grove, 64, drove over 45 minutes to find a brick wall to his liking with the specific intention of sprinting straight through it. "I mean sure there were some cavity brick walls nearby, as well as dry wall, wood paneling and all

Tales from the Heart of Huskerland

Search This Blog