Tales from the Heart of Huskerland

Can you believe it's been 10 years and we still aren't one step closer to competing for championships than we were during that horrible 2007 season? 10 years ago today, on October 20th 2007, Nebraska had just fired the Athletic Director Who Shall Not Be Named after suffering through one of the most humiliating home losses in recent memory, being thrashed by Oklahoma State 45-14, a game in which Nebraska's offense failed to pick up a first down until the 3rd quarter. I remember the crowd sarcastically releasing their balloons after that first down much like they did last week against Ohio State. Now Nebraska was limping into a home game against the Texas A&M Aggies carrying a 4-3 record and a new athletic director with them. Sounds familiar, right? Well it's not exactly the same, but it's pretty darn close. Nebraska would go on to lose to Texas A&M much in the same fashion they did to Okie State, this time by a final score of 36-14, but what's odd abo...

Trips like this remind me there truly is no place like Nebraska. Walking into Memorial Stadium in Champaign is quite a different experience than walking into the stadium of the same name in Lincoln. For starters, 30 minutes before kickoff there were hundreds of college kids in the fields surrounding the stadium playing intramural games of soccer, basketball, sand volleyball, etc. 30 minutes before kickoff as if there wasn't even a game going on. In Nebraska, those students would have been in the stadium an hour ago. Kacey and I outside Memorial Stadium in Champaign, IL Going on my annual road-trip to a fellow Big Ten stadium often reveals a world quite different than the one we inhabit 7 Saturdays a year in Lincoln. Most of the time that's pretty cool. It's fun to experience other school's traditions and atmospheres. Other times, it can be a little sad. In the case of Illinois, it was kind of sad. I've definitely traveled to stadiums that were less than...

LINCOLN- University of Nebraska President Hank Bounds and University of Nebraska-Lincoln Chancellor Ronnie Green announced the hiring of UNL's next director of athletics Thursday afternoon. After an extensive 10 minute Facebook search through the comments of the Husker's official page, Bounds and Green pulled the trigger on Omaha resident Bruce Dirkland. New UNL Athletic Director Bruce Dirkland Dirkland (62) previously served as the manager of quality control at Factory Motor Parts. He's well known among Nebraska fans for his long-winded Facebook rants about how Nebraska football needs to develop a "winning culture" again. "In the 90's Nebraska showed up to every game with the intention to win," Dirkland said. "We would line up and pound it down their throats every gosh darn play. I just don't understand why we don't do that anymore." Dirkland is certainly an outside of the box hire, but president Bounds quickly assur...

I'm just going to come out and warn you now. This is not a funny blog post. Humor has always been a great way for me to deal with the eternal agony that is being a Nebraska fan in the post-championship era. I've always tried to maintain a good humor about the failings of Nebraska football to mask toddler inside of me who wants to pout and throw a tantrum. Sometimes that toddler version of me comes out and people probably laugh at me so it all works out in the end. But for the life of me I can't think of any jokes to make the pain of Nebraska's latest debacle go down any smoother. This is the most hopeless I've ever felt in my life as a Nebraska fan. I'm actually becoming afraid that I won't ever see even a conference title in my life time. Some people may think that's ridiculous, but every time we hit the re-set button, the chance for a conference title becomes 5-10 years further away. Nebraska's in it's second longest conference title drough...

It's that time of year again. The air is turning cooler, the leaves are turning brown and the sound of fingers angrily clacking on keyboards fills the air. It seems to come earlier every year. Yes, it's pitchforks and torches season in Nebraska once again. Fire Everybody!!! Yes, pitchforks and torches season is an annual rite here in Nebraska. Many of Nebraska's youth get their first taste of manhood hurling a proverbial javelin through the gut of the current coach or AD. Why the first one I can easily remember is the infamous Black Friday in 2001. And of course I lived through what is perhaps the greatest pitchforks and torches season there ever was in the fall of 2007. And oh yes, I was definitely among those partaking in the great tradition last year after that hell-on-earth performance against Ohio State. In my mind I remember flipping a few cars, smashing a few windows and skewering a few fools on the edge of my pitch fork on social media last fall. Then again,...

Yes, the day after a Nebraska loss always sucks, but that doesn't mean your Sunday has to be wasted. Here's 5 ways you can turn your anger and frustration into productivity! 1. Attempt to Assassinate Kim Jung Un Look, I’m not saying you’ll succeed, but imagine if over 1 million Huskers fans tried to kill Kim Jung Un EVERY time Nebraska lost? Don’t you think we’d get him eventually? Judging by recent history, that’s at least 4 attempts per year. Heck, if we’d been doing this sooner, the last 2 seasons definitely would have killed him! Hey, we may have lost but at least we prevented nuclear war. They don’t call us the greatest fans in college football for nothing! 2. Go on Amazon and write a really bad review for M Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender Yes, anyone who’s seen this movie already knows it’s horrible and has probably already written at least a dozen terrible reviews online, but we must keep spreading the word! We can’t risk even one more person falling vict...

Full Disclaimer: I've never seen a single episode of Friday Night Lights. Now here's a few predictions for Nebraska's season opener today against Arkansas State Someone shows up in clear pants to protest the new clear bag policy. The university thinks this is a terrific idea and instantly mandates a new policy requiring all clothes be completely clear. You know, for security.  Twitter explodes after Tanner Lee's first completion, declaring him the next Tom Brady. Twitter explodes after Tanner Lee's first incompletion, declaring him the most over-hyped QB in the history of college football.  After the game Bob Diaco announces his retirement from football to pursue a TV role to play "Dr. Diaco," an evil genius in a new show about an unlikely and diverse group of kids who always manages to thwart his evil plans while learning lessons on the power of friendship in the process.  And Dr. Diaco would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for tho...

Dear Lord, While we thank you for the return of the most glorious season you have ever bestowed upon your children, we ask you to please be with our brothers and sisters in red who are unable to watch a game because of a wedding. We ask you to grant them the strength to endure the unendurable. Please comfort those whose friends or family lacked the common sense to schedule their weddings during the summer or at least during the bye week. Lord we ask that the wedding ceremonies tomorrow be short and merciful. Please grant your children in red success in their attempts to catch the game on their phones during the ceremony or at the reception. Please forgive those who made the unfortunate mistake of scheduling their wedding during one of the 12-14 most important days of the year, for they did not intend harm upon their family and friends. Please grant their friends and family the power of forgiveness as well. Grant them the clairvoyance to at least add several big screen, hig...

Match-up : #2 Nebraska vs. #3 Tennessee Date : January 2nd, 1998 Outcome : 42-17 Nebraska We've finally arrived at the 1998 Orange Bowl which means the kickoff to the 2017 season is exactly one week from today! I'm going to miss waking up each Saturday morning, creeping into the living room and flipping on a game from the glory years while I munch on my breakfast. Reviewing these national championship games has been a fun, wacky trip through time. So let's do it one more time! Just a few weeks before the entire country would become obsessed with finding out whether Bill Clinton did or did not have sexual relations with that woman, the college football nation was obsessed with determining who was truly the number one team in the land. At the end of the regular season Michigan was #1 and Nebraska was #2 and of course they would soon play each other in a New Years bowl game and settle it on the field once and for all. Just kidding. That solution makes too much sense....

Match-up: #1 Nebraska vs. #2 Florida Date: January 2, 1996 Outcome: 62-24 Nebraska When Florida came out of the tunnel, I almost had a bit of pity for them. They're just so excited. After Nebraska came out of the tunnel they just ran to their sideline. Florida, however, ran to midfield jumping up and down and climbing all over each other. You can just tell they're thinking "We're going to be national champions!" In a way they're almost like a little kid coming up to you saying they're going to be a firefighter/astronaut/policeman when they grow up. Since you don't want reality to break their hearts just yet, you just smile and nod while saying "Yeah, sure you are." Florida QB Danny Wuerffel was sacked 7 times, once for a safety. My mom and dad went to this game and left 18 month old me at my grandma's. My dad told me before the game Florida fans were "Gator-Chomping" every Nebraska fan they could find. After th...

Match-up: #1 Nebraska vs. #3 Miami Date: January 1st, 1995 Outcome: 24-17 Nebraska Osborne being carried off the field after defeating #3 Miami 24-17 for his first national championship Before the 1995 Orange Bowl Tom Osborne said "If I don't win this national championship, they'll probably put it on my tombstone, but I don't care. I'll be dead." It's hard to believe a sizable portion of Nebraska's fan base once wanted Tom Osborne fired. Actually it's not that surprising when you look at college football on the whole. According to odds makers in Vegas , Willie Taggart is tied for 13th on their list of coaches most likely to be fired this year and the dude hasn't even coached a down for Oregon yet. Yes, welcome to college football, where you're already on the hot-seat before you're even offered the job. Osborne was a missed field goal away from winning it the year before against Florida State. He was a missed 2-point co...

Match-up: #1 Nebraska vs. #2 Alabama Date: January 1, 1972 Outcome: 38-6 Nebraska This game was strictly a formality. The 1971 national championship had been unofficially determined on Thanksgiving Day when #1 Nebraska took down then #2 Oklahoma in the "Game of the Century." Oklahoma was clearly the second best team during the 1971 season, but Alabama was 11-0 going into the Orange Bowl and looking to pull the upset to claim the national title. So this game still held a ton of significance. It would officially give Nebraska their 2nd straight national title and gave Bob Devaney another shot at  Paul "Bear" Bryant , who is arguably the greatest college football coach of all time and easily the greatest coach to ever wear a houndstooth fedora. A Bear wearing a fedora The Bear opted to wear a baseball cap this game instead of his signature fedora, which was disappointing, but perhaps he was just trying to hide in shame from the TV cameras because this ga...

Match-up: #3 Nebraska vs. #5 LSU Date: January 1, 1971 Outcome: 17-12 Nebraska Oh how I would have loved to have been alive for this one. I can only imagine the party that went on long into the night on the beaches of Miami and throughout the state of Nebraska. After years of being absolutely horrendous under coaches Bill Glassford and Bill Jennings and several other coaches in the 1940s, Bob Devaney swooped down from the mountains or plains or whatever it is they have in Wyoming and saved the day. Within a decade he had built a national championship team. On the morning of January 1st 1971, Nebraska was not supposed to be playing for the national championship. The only reason a national title was on the line when Nebraska took the field against LSU in the Orange Bowl is because college football in the 70s was very dumb. So sit on Uncle Jason's knee kids and I'll tell you a story about 1970s college football, but don't sit too close or they'll call child ...