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Clear Bags, Full Stomachs, Can't Lose: A Few Game Day Predictions

Full Disclaimer: I've never seen a single episode of Friday Night Lights. Now here's a few predictions for Nebraska's season opener today against Arkansas State
  • Someone shows up in clear pants to protest the new clear bag policy. The university thinks this is a terrific idea and instantly mandates a new policy requiring all clothes be completely clear. You know, for security. 
  • Twitter explodes after Tanner Lee's first completion, declaring him the next Tom Brady.
  • Twitter explodes after Tanner Lee's first incompletion, declaring him the most over-hyped QB in the history of college football. 
  • After the game Bob Diaco announces his retirement from football to pursue a TV role to play "Dr. Diaco," an evil genius in a new show about an unlikely and diverse group of kids who always manages to thwart his evil plans while learning lessons on the power of friendship in the process. 
And Dr. Diaco would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling kids.
  • Incoming freshman are confused by the "Where's Carl?" chant during the marching band's performance of March Grandioso
  • Mike Riley is so pleased with the win that he buys the entire stadium ice cream and tickets to a rap concert. 
  • The BTN crew is distracted by the Florida State vs. Alabama game kicking off at the same time and forgets to broadcast the game, showing a "Culligan Water Man" commercial on repeat for 3 hours instead. 

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