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Highly Incompetent Athletic Director Makes Best Hire in School's Entire Basketball History (Satire)


Lincoln, NE - In his latest act as the University of Nebraska-Lincoln's athletic director, the highly incompetent Bill Moos secured the most impressive basketball head coaching hire in the school's history.

The clearly "in over his head" athletic director introduced Fred Hoiberg as Nebraska's new head basketball coach at a press conference Tuesday afternoon. The hiring of Hoiberg, which has been unanimously praised both locally and nationally, is the latest in a myriad of miserable successes that has plagued Moos' tenure at Nebraska.
Moos, who handled the coaching change "horribly" according to many local and national media pundits, secured the impressive hire just 15 months after making one of the most exciting hires in the storied football program's history by bringing home native son Scott Frost. On major coaching changes it appears Moos is a perfect 2 for 2, raising serious questions about his ability to lead Nebraska's athletic department into the future.

Detractors of Moos point out his “cruelty” in waiting for former Nebraska basketball coach Tim Miles to return home from Fort Worth, Texas to relieve him of his position instead of firing him immediately while on the plane home.  Others criticized the embattled athletic director for sticking to the policy he's had his entire career of waiting for the season to end before making a coaching change, a policy he has stated on numerous ocassions that he will always stand by. Some critics even pointed to Moos' rumored drinking problem that they had completely made up as irrefutable evidence of why Moos and the university should part ways.
Omaha World-Herald staff-writer Dirk Chatelain, who less than 2 weeks ago accused Moos of completely botching the impending coaching change and for treating the basketball program as a "second class sport," offered enormous praise for the hire, referring to Hoiberg as "Nebraska basketball's version of Bob Devaney" and writing that it gives Nebraska basketball "instant national credibility." 

"It's hard to put into words how exciting this hire is for Nebraska basketball. Combine this with the hiring of Frost and the unbelievable support he's given him and his staff to resurrect the football program and this clearly underlines some alarming issues stemming from the athletic department's head man," Chatelain probably said, or thought, or at the very least implied.

Several fans of the basketball program agreed with many of the opinions offered up by Moos' critics in the media.

"NU could not have handled this more poorly," one fan commented on the Omaha World-Herald's website before quite literally praising the incredible and suave professionalism on display with the Hoiberg hire just 3 days later. When asked to further elaborate on his initial comment, the fan simply replied "Moos man bad."

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